Interview: A Conversation With Crabman

A new voice in New Zealand music emerged last month, as a dance-pop tune by a mysterious artist known only as Crabman started gaining significant airplay on student radio stations throughout the country. His infectiously catchy debut single, also called 'Crabman', is something of a statement of intent, as the artist sings "He calls himself the Crabman / And he leaves his juice on the floor / Doesn't care what's right or wrong / And he's not afraid to break the law." Other lyrics discuss how the artist allegedly robbed a bank.

On close inspection of Crabman's Bandcamp page the mystery deepened, a brief statement on the page declares that the artist is "half-man, half-crab" and "is currently wanted but the NYPD." We had to know more, and through the magic of the internet we were able to chat with Crabman who shared a few secrets and made an exciting announcement. Listen to Crabman's recent single and read on for our exclusive interview with one of New Zealand's most unique musical talents...

Hello, good morning.

Hello Chris, it’s me Crabman.

Crabman, where are you you based at the moment? I saw on your Bandcamp page that you’re currently based in Massachusetts?

I'm currently on the run as the NYPD are trying to frame me for a crime that I didn't commit, a large scale bank robbery that took place in Manhattan earlier this year. As such, I'm constantly moving.

I thought you were from New Zealand, but now you’re overseas?

I cannot tell you where this place is. (You are correct, Chris)

Just going into your history a little bit, did you rob a bank? Why would you rob a bank?

I used to work at Kelly Tarlton’s (Sea Life Aquarium) as a janitor. I was hired to clean the penguin cages, unfortunately I was fired as I left the cages more dirty than when I came in. I later was rehired to clean the children's birthday party room, but alas, the same thing occurred.

How much cash have you been accused of stealing?

Over one million dollars in the form of cash, gold bars, and diamonds.

If it’s all right with you I’d like to ask a few personal questions. What parts of you are crab and what parts are man? Are you sort of a blend, or are bits of you crab and bits of you man?

Parts of me are crab and parts are human.

Do you have human hands? Or pincers?

I have one human-like hand and two crab-like pincers. Of course at least one human hand, how else would I play the keyboard solo Chris? (See below for an image supplied by the artist)

How did you become Crabman?

I have been a Crabman since birth. My mother was a crab, my father was a man.

What’s a typical day in the life for Crabman?

I have a son and while not organising my flight from the NYPD, I am a loving father to my son, the son of Crabman.

Do you have any new tunes coming out? Any plans for summer?

I have a very special piece of information for you. There’s a new song coming out soon. It’s called ‘Crabman 2 Son Of Crabman (FUCK THE NYPD)'

That’s really exciting. Why do you leak juice on the floor?

It's my greatest affliction. I leak juice from my body as I walk. The juice is sticky and pink, and worst of all, it smells like the sea.

You’re on the run from the NYPD, why weren’t you afraid to break the law?

I’m a bad man, the Crabman.

Thanks Crabman, have a great day.

Goodbye Chris. Please note that while Crabman's debut single 'Crabman' has been met with praise and was in both the 95bFM and RDU top 10s, I would still most like to be known for my work as a doting father to my son, who is the true inspiration for everything I do.

The release date for Crabman's forthcoming single ‘Crabman 2 Son Of Crabman (FUCK THE NYPD)' has yet to be announced. If you're curious as to how we got in contact with the aquatic artist, check out the image below...